1queer1 A 'Queer in London's tiny bits of life, thoughts, and things too long for Twitter.

See I have this problem with my mother.

She constantly demands “newsy emails” and longs for phone calls.  Well I am her child and I do live on the other side of the world in a different time zone.

The problem isn’t that she wants the news..it is more her reaction when I tell her what I am up to in any sort of honest form.

What my mother wants to hear

I’ve decided to get legally joined to Y and move to NZ to buy a house and a small animal and settle down around the corner from you. I miss NZ and you so much.

What I send to my mother instead are packages including my photos in magazines, handy crafts I have done on a day trip with my lover, and importantly a copy of “The Lovers and Fighters Convention” which is starting to show in the Southern Hemisphere. Included is a long letter about the people in the movie that I am close to “my family” and how they influence my life and how much they mean to me.

To me I am conveying

Here is what I am up to. See I have friends now (I had none for 5 years of schooling at one point and this was a “concern” the teachers and my parents talked about on a regular basis) and we do neat stuff. I am loving London and doing amazing things but I miss NZ and you so much.

…..

So I get back a thank you for the parcel and the letter and “I’ve not seen the movie yet”

Then a week passes and I get a long email about my mothers life, and not a mention of the film.

Which means she’s seen it…

and does not want to engage with me about my life.

…..

So the question to the room is;

How do you handle this? How do you cope in the face of, not negativity, just unwillingness to talk about the most important things you have done in the past 2 years?

Ideas please.

….

And to regular readers of my blogs etc- yes this is a probelm that has been running for years- since Dad died really. So any advice welcome..